tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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