It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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