Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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