Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I love how my cats smell like pot.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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