Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
