its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize