Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
