And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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