Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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