I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
