dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
