Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
