My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
from now on my penis is your penis
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize