party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
