upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
