Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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