Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
