I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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