He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
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can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
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I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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