so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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