Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Panties = found
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize