Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
