Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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