i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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