Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
