somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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