I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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