I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
