captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
