Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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