8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
