He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so let's talk penis.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
