It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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