so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
