Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
