I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
