the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
