talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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