He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
