Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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