I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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