I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Randomize
