it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize