drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
