community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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