I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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