Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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