it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Can Purell be used as lube?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
