Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
