SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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