youre lurking in front of me
okay pat passed out under dana's car
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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