Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
