Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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