then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
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he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
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There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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