How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
