are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
