We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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