They should really pass out barf bags in church
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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