I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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