Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
