she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
